I am writing this blog post in the middle of a pandemic, when Adam and I have hardly done anything outside the house for almost five months. Tomorrow, I am about to have major surgery to remove seven benign tumors that have caused me a whole different set of problems during this crazy time. These have been energy-sucking tumors that have often left me completely exhausted, even after a day of doing absolutely nothing.
No matter what, I would be nervous going into this surgery, despite it being a relatively safe procedure, because I am a terribly paranoid human being. But I think I am especially nervous because the last several months haven’t been the life I have come to expect and love. We are adventurers. We love going out and doing escape rooms, somewhat spontaneous trips, camping, conventions, the Renaissance Festival, mini-golf, date-nights, concerts, trying out new restaurants, etc. We love experiences. We love spending time with our friends and family actually doing things. We love adding coffee mugs to our collection, marking that we have been to a new place, or even a place we have been for the dozenth time because we love it that damn much.
It has definitely been a challenge learning how to be content staying home, with limited contact with our friends and family. I say this knowing what a privileged life I have led, that Adam and I are part of the lucky group that have gotten to keep our jobs and work from home, that while I was sad about being stuck inside our house, others were trying to figure out how they were going to keep a roof over their head. One day, about a month into working from home, I was sitting in my office-space, twiddling a pencil in between my fingers, when I found myself writing this on a Post-It note: Life Doesn’t Suck.
There was something about being forced to slow my life down that helped me realize that there can be comfort in simplicity. We did eventually find a rhythm that worked for us. There are adventures to be had around the house. We’ve enjoyed finishing projects we’ve had on the back-burner for a while, although I find myself constantly frustrated that I know I could do so much more if these tumors weren’t sucking up a good portion of my energy. But that’s about to be fixed and there’s still plenty of summer ahead of us for bike rides and hikes and other house projects.
One thing I told Adam a few weeks ago was that I never wanted to feel like we’re sitting there, waiting for life to happen to us. I want to seek out life and the things that make us happy. That includes finding things to love, even when in quarantine.
When I started this blog post all of an hour ago, I definitely was feeling a little sorry for myself. I feel so much more peaceful now, going into surgery. Life Doesn’t Suck. And I want to live it to the fullest. Sometimes circumstances will prevent you from… Adam just interrupted my train of thought by starting a video for school. I glared at him a little, and then we smiled and laughed. I am so lucky that I found him. Even when he’s annoying me, I love him so freaking much. This quarantine would have been rubbish without him. I am so blessed.